Pink Wedding
by AsianAbeProductions
Summary: Part three of the "P.B. and Jay" saga. Finn, Jake, and the entire Candy Kingdom prepare and attend a royal wedding, Bubblegum's wedding. To the hardcore Finn and Jake fans: This story was written before the release of the episode "Jake the Dad," so Jake's and Lady's kids are different in every way. P.S. - Yes, the title is a spoof of the famous Billy Idol song.


Author's Note: Within this story, Lady Rainicorn's speech is in parentheses. The reason for this is the language barrier. Originally, it was intended that her speech would be in her native language, Korean, but written with English letters. The problem with this is the lack of English spellings for Korean words available. So to resolve this, her speech was written within parentheses to indicate that the speech is the English translation from Korean.

"Pink Wedding"

The kingdom was jubilant for the couple, but then everyone was thrown into chaos and panic. The wedding, although no one outside the knowing seven knew why, had to happen before Bubblegum began to show, giving the honeymoon a reason for her pregnancy. And since it was going to be a wedding between a prince and a princess, it deserves nothing less than the royal treatment. Finn and Jake volunteered to be Bubblegum's wedding planners, but they were overwhelmed by the amount of time and energy they had to spend and the amount of Bubblegum's yelling they had to endure. Eventually, they got their heads straight and back on track. They had to neglect some of their heroic duties for the wedding. Some princesses were kidnapped and goblin-folk eaten, but it was all for the sake of P.B.'s wedding. The wedding was decided to happen within a month of Jay's proposal.

After two weeks, it was time to decide the players of the ceremony, other than the bride and groom. Jay only wanted a best man, but Bubblegum wanted multiple bridesmaids. So, they compromised and decided to have multiple bridesmaids and groomsmen, three each to be exact. Jay asked Finn and Jake to be two of his groomsmen. "I don't know if I can," Finn said, "I'm giving Peebles away." Jay said that it can be worked out so Finn could do both. Finn agreed to do the job, as did Jake. Jay asked Starchy to be his third, who also agreed.

Bubblegum, meanwhile, had to choose two of her three. L.S.P. was guaranteed a bridesmaid position in exchange for keeping quiet about the pregnancy. Lady was an obvious bridesmaid choice, considering her and P.B.'s friendship; and she wanted to give her last bridesmaid position to Marceline. Over the past two years, Bubblegum and Marceline developed a close girl-friendship, ever since they had a weird experience with some bath salts.

"Please, Marcy, do it for me," Bubblegum pleaded while at Marceline's house. Marceline was reluctant about the idea of being a bridesmaid. "Please, Marcy, it would really mean a lot to me."

Marceline sighed, "Fine, I'll be a bridesmaid."

Bubblegum smiled and hugged her, saying, "Thanks. You won't regret this, Marcy!"

Marceline hugged her back, "So, when will I get to meet your prince?"

"Uhh…"

Finn and Jake had been busy making their own plans for the wedding as well. They had to dig out and wash their fancy clothes, which have not been worn since the stormy night in the haunted castle. As for their dates, Jake of course was going with Lady and the kids. Finn wanted to go with Flame Princess, but she refused and did not give a reason why not.

"So, what are you going to do?" Jake asked Finn when Finn came home and told him.

"Well, I asked Marceline if I could go with her, since we'll eventually sit by each other and such. She said it would be alright."

"So, you're going to a _wedding_ with _Marceline_?"

"Yep."

"Do you see the irony?"

"Yep."

"And how this is couples'-only movie-night all over again?"

"Yep."

Jake nodded his head and squinted, "No tongue?"

"No tongue."

"I'm sure there'll be tongue."

The wedding was finally here, without delay or incident, which caused more concern. Everyone and everything was ready just in time. The flowers—red and pink roses and carnations—were already cut and arranged into beautiful bouquets. The bridesmaid dresses—pink with open shoulder sleeves, a lace-backing, and a grasping at the knees—were fitted each bridesmaid, even L.S.P. The ceremony was taking place in the palace's throne room, and the reception was to be held in the ballroom.

Finn was at Marceline's, getting dressed into his tuxedo. He spent the night there and was now in the living room (ironic how an undead being like Marceline would have a living room), standing infront of a full-body mirror and trying to tie his bow tie. Finn only saw himself in the mirror and jumped when he heard, "Do you not know how to tie a bow tie?" from behind him. Finn turned around to see Marceline in her bridesmaid dress, unlaced and held up by her left forearm wrapping itself around the front of her stomach, and wearing ruby red high heels. Finn blushed as Marceline walked over to him. With her free hand, she grabbed Finn's, one at a time, and placed them on her sides. "Here, hold this dress up," she said. Finn's cheeks grew redder. With newly freed hands, she swiftly tied Finn's tie. When she was done, she took over holding the dress with left forearm, turned her back to Finn, and held her hair aside with her right hand.

"Now, tie this dress!" she demanded "I hate this dress!"

"Why?" Finn asked, lacing the back.

"I hate pink!"

"Don't think of it as pink, think of it as lightish red."

"Great, now I'm hungry!" Marceline yelled as Finn finished the knot. She then flew to the kitchen for a snack. "So, tell me why didn't you girlfriend want to go to the wedding with you?" she yelled from the kitchen.

Finn sat on her hard couch, "I don't know; she didn't tell me." Marceline came back into the living room and tossed one of her two apples to Finn. "We've been drifting apart lately, and I'm getting worried about losing her." Finn took a bite of his apple after polished against his arm.\

"You shouldn't worry, Finn," Marceline said, "As a relationship grows the people in it will seem to drift apart; but in reality, they're still really close. You just need to spice things up a little bit."

Finn smiled, "Thanks, Marcy."

"It's only over when your boyfriend sells your most favorite thing in the world—to a witch," Marceline said before sucking the dark shade of red from the apple.

Marceline, carrying Finn, flew to the Candy Kingdom for the wedding, which was supposed to start in two hours. Luckily, it was a cloudy day for Marceline. Just outside the palace was Jake, Lady, and their two little pupicorns, Jake Jr. and Maria. When Finn and Marceline landed, Jake Jr. and Maria ran up to them, yelling, "Aunt Marcy! Uncle Finn!"

Jake Jr. and Maria were only a couple of years old, but they could speak in full sentences in both English and Korean. They were two feet tall and weighed about thirty-five pounds. They were twins, virtually alike only in appearance. They had their father's jowls, paws, ears, and golden yellow fur for the top half of their bodies; and they had their mother's horn, blonde mane and tail, and rainbow coloring on the bottom half of their bodies. The only visual difference between them, other than the lime green bow Maria often wore around her horn, was the coloring of their bellies: Jake Jr.'s was baby blue and Maria's was carnation pink. Neither of them had any of their parent's powers, at least not yet. Jake Jr. was much like his father, with an eye, and love, for girls. He had a crush on Marceline until he was four. His sister, however, was much more mature than him even though Jake Jr. was born a few minutes before her. She took a major interest in Rainicorn history and the sciences, and she often played an assistant to Princess Bubblegum and the princess's experiments. Lady had pushed Maria to learn to play the viola from Jake and proved to be quite good. Jake Jr. was instrumentally interested only in anything Marceline played. As for their sibling relationship, it was typical, one usually annoying the other.

Finn and Marceline hugged the little pupicorns, Jake Jr. squeezing Marceline as much as he could. He was dressed in a black tuxedo, and Maria wore a dress that had three different tiers of different shades of green. She also wore her lime green bow, and her mane was tied up into an impish ponytail. Both pupicorns were barefoot. Jake was wearing his tuxedo, and Lady wore her bridesmaid dress, which went up a ways on her lengthy body.

The six went inside to see what havoc was being wrecked by the citizens upon themselves. The hallways were decorated with small bundles of flowers and ribbon, all pink, making the palace look more elegant than usual. Candy people rushed around, making sure everything was perfect for their princess.

The group decided to split up: Finn and Jake went to Jay's room while the girls, Marceline followed by Jake Jr., went to Bubblegum's. As they went their ways, the clicking form Marceline's voluptuous red heels echoed through the halls.

Finn and Jake had made their way through the controlled chaos of the decorators to Jay's room. When Finn and Jake entered the room, Jay was tying his tie.

Jay turned around, "Hey, guys," Jay said, "I'm glad you're here."

"Has anything gone wrong?" Finn asked.

"Not that I know of."

"OH MY GLOB!" the candy princess yelled in her bedroom's adjoining bathroom. She was wearing a bathrobe that was a dark pink color. Marceline was lying on Bubblegum's bed, and Lady was coiled up on the floor. L.S.P. was not here yet. Maria was braced against her mother; and Jake Jr. laid against Marceline on the bed, using her stomach as his personal pillow. He and his sister were asleep until Bubblegum yelled. Lady told the kids to stay with their father and Uncle Finn. They left as Bubblegum stomped out of the bathroom with her dress in hand.

"What's wrong?" Marceline asked, propping herself up with her arms.

"My dress is ripped!" Bubblegum held up her dress. The top-half was identical to the bridesmaid dresses, minus the laced back. The bottom-half looked more like a ballroom gown, long and voluminous, with lateral pale rose ruffles. Princess Bubblegum folded the dress to show a tear in the seam on the right side.

"Oh, that's nothing," Marceline said, "get me some thread and a needle, and I can sew it back together."

"You know how to sew?" Bubblegum asked.

"I'm a thousand years old, Bonnibel, I've had plenty of time to learn how."

Minutes later, Marceline was sewing the dress while Bubblegum waited.

"(Are you nervous about getting married?)" Lady asked.

"No, I'm not nervous," P.B. answered.

"(Why not?)"

"Because this is something I have to do." Bubblegum said, placing her hand on her stomach.

"Done!" Marceline said, showing the freshly re-sewn dress to the princess. The princess complimented the seamstress' excellent sewing and ran into the bathroom to put it on.

Jake Jr. and Maria were running through the palace hallways, almost knocking into Chocoberry. They had gone to their father as their mother requested, then Dad and Uncle Finn had to talk about something adult, so Jake told Jake Jr. and Maria to go play. They turned a corner and burst into the first door on the left, one of Bubblegum's labs. Jake Jr. was amazed by the multiples of colorful chemicals. He grabbed a test tube with a clear liquid inside and a rubber stopper on top.

"I wouldn't play with that," Maria said. She pretty much knew the labs like the back of her hand, sorry, paw.

"What is it?"

"Hydrochloric acid."

"Translate that from geek-speak, and?"

Maria sighed, "It's an acid strong enough to burn a hole through your paw." Jake Jr. raised his brows, looking back and forth between the tube and his sister. He then gently put the tube back. Suddenly, Jake Jr. had an idea.

"Hey, do you know how to make a love potion?" Jake Jr. asked.

"I know how to make chemical that, when ingested, can trigger a feeling of love or euphoria upon seeing or being near a specific person."

"Why?"

"Curious."

"You want to give it to Aunt Marcy, don't you?"

Jake Jr. began to blush, "No! Shut up!"

Maria sighed again, "Fine, I'll do it." She quickly bustled around the lab, grabbing her supplies: test tubes, Bunsen burners, chemicals, rubber stoppers, glass straws, and beakers. She then settled herself and began her work. She grabbed an empty beaker and poured green, blue, and purple liquids into it. She stirred the mixture with a glass stirring rod. The concoction turned into a maroon color and began to bubble. Quickly, Maria poured it into a test tube. She put a stopper onto it with a coiling glass straw leading into a large flask. Maria heated the tube with a burner, and a goldenrod gas was produced and began to fill the flask.

"What's that?" Jake Jr. asked about the flask-filling gas.

"A deadly gas, it needs to condense before we can open that flask."

The liquid inside the vile changed into a death black color. Maria stopped the distilling and set the tube inside a test tube rack.

"Hold your breath," she commanded her brother. He did so, and Maria quickly swapped the flask's stopper with a stopper without a hole. Maria took a breath and looked at her brother, who was still holding her breath. His face was beginning to turn blue. "You can breathe now."

Maria grabbed a pair of tweezers, "Okay, now I need a piece of your hair."

"What? Why?"

"So the potion will cause Aunt Marcy to be in love with _you_." Maria grabbed a piece of Jake Jr.'s combed mane. Jake Jr. gritted his teeth as she plucked a piece of hair. Maria dropped it into the test tube, and the potion fizzled into a rose red. A heart-shaped cloud of pink smoke puffed itself from the potion. Maria put a stopper on it.

"Here, your 'Love Potion No. 9' is finished." Jake Jr. grabbed the vile.

"What do I do, get her to drink it?" Jake Jr. asked.

"Yep."

Suddenly, the lab's door swung open, and their father stepped inside.

"Kids!" he yelled, running over to them, "You shouldn't be playing with this stuff. You'll get hurt." Jake grabbed the potion from Jake Jr. and put it in a test tube rack. "Come on, kids, it's about time to completely ruin two people's lives forever." Jake then grabbed the kids and dragged them out of the lab. Jake Jr. never saw nor held any love potion ever again.

The ceremony soon began. L.S.P. arrived within minutes of when she was supposed to walk down the aisle with Starchy, which caused Bubblegum to nearly lose her mind. She arrived her date, Brad (yeah, they're back together). Everyone took their seats. Jake Jr. had to sit alone in the front right pew because not was his father a groomsmen and mother a bridesmaid, but his sister was the flower girl. Peppermint Butler, the wedding's officiator, stood at the altar, facing the aisle. Flowers and ribbons covered most of the walls and the sides of the pews. Soon, Starchy and L.S.P. walked down the aisle and parted to the sides: Starchy to Peppermint Butler's left and L.S.P. to his right. Then Finn and Marceline, Jake and Lady, and Jay followed. Finn snuck out through a door to the side. Everyone geared their eyes to the throne room's entrance. Tree Trunks manned the piano, playing the Wedding March as Princess Bubblegum, in her dress and pink veil, strutted up the aisle with Finn, her escort. Before the stairs to the altar, they stopped. Bubblegum put her right hand on Finn's left shoulder. "Thanks, Finn," she said before kissing him on the cheek. Finn smiled and blushed. Bubblegum stepped up to the altar and faced Jay while Finn walked up and stood between Jake to his right and Starchy on his right.

The ruining of lives, as Jake would put it, had begun. Bubblegum and Jay had exchanged their vows, and Peppermint Butler reached the part where he says, "And if there is anyone who has any reason why these two should not be together, speak now or forever hold your peace." With perfect timing, the sound of stained glass breaking and shattering echoed throughout the room. Finn and Jake looked toward the back of the room where the window was and the saw the Ice King fly through the broken window.

"Ice King!" Finn and Jake yelled together.

Jake turned to Finn, "Oh, Glob, we forgot about him! He's been so inactive lately!"

"Ice King, why are you here?" Finn loudly and angrily asked.

"It's quite simple, my bosom: I'm here to marry the princess and kill this home-wrecking prince," the Ice King answered. Gasps from the guests filled the air. The Ice King's fingertips glowed from his crown's power. In a quick thought, Finn grabbed a bundle of flowers that tied to a nearby pew. He and Jake ran toward the Ice King, who was shooting ice beams at them. Jake dodged the beams, but Finn threw his flowers into the beams. Upon contact, they were magically encased in ice. Finn jumped and flip-kicked the icy flowers at the Ice King. The ice connected with his forehead, knocking out the Ice King. He plummeted to the floor, where Jake tied him up with ribbon and stuffed him into an empty closet.

The wedding continued without another incident, ending with a tender kiss between husband and wife. Everyone then went to the ballroom for the reception. The seating arrangements were simple: the bride, groom, bridesmaids, groomsmen, and their plus-ones would be seated at Table One, which was the table closest to the band (Marceline said it felt weird hearing a band rather than playing in one), and everyone else—princesses, candy citizens, and dates—would be seated at the other fourteen tables. About half an hour between the serving of dinner and dessert, the tossing of the bouquet and garter belt was starting.

A crowd of women gathered on the dance floor. Bubblegum, with her back to the estrogen cloud, blindly tossed the bouquet into it. The bouquet flew through the air, gravity pulling it down, until it was caught by a gray hand, Marceline's hand. She flew off the dance floor to the side. The crowd of women walked off the dance floor and the men walked on. Jake pulled Finn onto the dance floor. Standing amongst the crowd, Finn held a vertical advantage over everyone else. Bubblegum took off the garter (Jay was in the restroom, and Bubblegum didn't want to postpone it). "I'm not going to catch it," Finn said. P.B. threw it, and the garter soared toward Finn and Jake. As it neared, everyone tried to jump for it. With perfect timing, Jake grabbed Finn's arm and held it up in time for the belt to land on it. Jake whispered into Finn's ear, "You're welcome, bro," and pushed him in Marceline's direction. Finn turned around to Jake and mouthed, "I hate you." He turned back to Marceline, who was sitting provocatively on a table. She beckoned Finn with right index finger. Finn despairingly sighed. He walked over to her, and she lifted her legs. Finn's cheeks began to show a red shady enough Marceline could eat. He took the garter and put it over Marceline's right red high-heel. Finn could feel everyone digging their eyes into the back of his head, and he could hear Jake mischievously chuckling. Finn slowly slid the garter up Marceline's calf, and past her knee. Finn's cheeks grew redder every inch he pushed the belt up Marceline's leg. He slid it up to the middle of Marceline's thigh and quickly retracted his clammy hands

"Thanks, Finn." Marceline said, kissing Finn on the cheek before flying off. Jake walked over to Finn's side.

"Dude, I swear to Glob, if you ever do that to me again, I will kill you in your sleep, dismember your corpse, and spread the pieces among the Candy, Fire, Ice, Cloud, and Goblin Kingdoms."

"Come on, bro, I know you enjoyed that," Jake responded.

"That is beside the point."

A few minutes later, the wedding cake and desserts were brought out. The wedding cake was a three-tier festival of descending angel-devil-angel foods completely covered in two shades of pink vanilla frosting—carnation pink and bubblegum pink. Buds of light pink frosting flowers formed a circle around the base cake. Hand-crafted figures of Bubblegum and Jay stood on top. There were many subsidiary desserts: lushes, cookies, brownies, and, Jake's favorite, Tree Trunk's apple pies. Even after the cake was cut and some smeared on the couples' faces, Jake continued to get pie, piece after piece.

Jake was on his sixth piece when Finn asked, "Dude, don't you think you've had enough pie?"

"Mmm, no way, man," Jake said with his mouth full. He swallowed, "You know how much I love Tree Trunk's pies."

"(I bet you love my peach pie more, don't you?)" Lady asked. Jake choked on some pie, but he eventually got it down.

Finn leaned in to Jake, "Hey, what'd she say?"

"You don't wanna know, dude."

"Dad," Jake Jr. was behind his father without Jake knowing so. The tyke appeared to be confused about something.

"Yeah, J.J.?" Jake picked up his son and placed him on his lap.

"What did Mom mean by her 'peach pie?' Mom has never made peach pie." Finn finally knew what Lady said.

"Well, I, um, y-your mother, um…" Jake did not want to discuss this with his son. Suddenly, Jake had an idea. "Hey, how about you go dance with Aunt Marcy?" Marceline's head turned to Jake.

Jake Jr. lit up, "Really?"

"Sure! Right, Aunt Marcy?" Jake looked over to Marceline and winked mischievously.

Marceline smiled, "Yeah, why not?" She got up from her seat, took Jake Jr.'s paw, and led him onto the dance floor.

Bubblegum and Jay managed to sneak away from the mass of people and into the public men's restroom in the hallway outside the ballroom. The restroom seemed to be empty.

"Well, now that we're alone," Bubblegum said, smiling. They kissed, and it had a hint of French in it. Bubblegum jumped up and wrapped her legs around Jay. Jay, holding his wife, backed into an open stall, and began the consummation.

About half an hour later, the couple came out of the restroom. Bubblegum attempted to fix her messed-up hair. Seconds later, Finn came out of the same restroom with a horrified look on his face. He walked to seat, much like a pre-programmed robot, and sat down beside Marceline.

"Finn, what's wrong?" Marceline asked concerned.

"I don't want to talk about it." Finn reached over and grabbed Marceline's glass of champagne and chugged it all.

"Finn, you're not old enough to drink!" Marceline said. But for some reason, she did not try to stop him.

"I don't care," Finn said, grabbing and consuming Jake's glass of champagne.

Finn continued stealing drinks and even a full bottle of wine. After a while, Finn achieved his first alcoholic blackout.


End file.
